I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin’ to get it back
Wasn’t it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?
It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not what you’ve been
You’re still an innocent
You’re still an innocent
Did some things you can’t speak of
But tonight you’ll live it all again
You wouldn’t be shattered on the floor now
If only you had seen what you know now then
Wasn’t it easier in your firefly-catchin’ days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn’t it beautiful runnin’ wild ’til you fell asleep?
Before the monsters caught up to you?
It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not what you’ve been
You’re still an innocent
It’s okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin’ up now
Who you are is not what you did
You’re still an innocent
Time turns flames to embers
You’ll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too
Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never to late to
Be brand new
It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been
You’re still an innocent
It’s okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin’ up now
Who you are is not what you did
You’re still an innocent
You’re still an innocent
Lost your balance on a tightrope
It’s never too late to get it back
Showing posts with label lyrics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lyrics. Show all posts
Tuesday Morning
Posted in babies, family, Husband, love, lyrics, Michelle Branch on 11:24 AM by Alicia
Tuesday morning
In the dark
I was finding out who you are
-Michelle Branch
If there was ever a moment that I realized how wonderful my husband is, it was this... As Monday night turned into Tuesday morning, we laid in bed talking...
Me too. Weren't they just beautiful?
You really think?
I love you
We'll know...when we find our number, we'll just *know*
I don't know if we will actually have 6 kids, but I don't think that matters. I love that he sees the beauty in it. I love that he is flexible enough to open his heart to more babies...and what I love MOST is that he loves ME that much.
The final number? Only time will tell... But I have to say, it's kind of fun not knowing.
In the dark
I was finding out who you are
-Michelle Branch
If there was ever a moment that I realized how wonderful my husband is, it was this... As Monday night turned into Tuesday morning, we laid in bed talking...
I'm glad we got to meet your friend.
Me too. Weren't they just beautiful?
Yeah...maybe 6 wouldn't be bad...
You really think?
I just want you to be happy
I love you
BUT if we get to 6, that's my absolute limit!
We'll know...when we find our number, we'll just *know*
As long as it's not more than 6.
I don't know if we will actually have 6 kids, but I don't think that matters. I love that he sees the beauty in it. I love that he is flexible enough to open his heart to more babies...and what I love MOST is that he loves ME that much.
The final number? Only time will tell... But I have to say, it's kind of fun not knowing.
Find My Way Back
Posted in little girls, lyrics, Michelle Branch, Poetry on 10:14 AM by Alicia
I used to get away with so much
Now I can't get away.
I even thought that it was simple
To say the things I wanted to say
-Michelle Branch, Find My Way Back
I find lately that I'm at a loss for words. Everything on my mind just isn't translating to sentences. I'm feeling more poetic, so I'll try and express myself that way for now.
I don't think I could tame
That beautiful free spirit.
Always on my mind.
Forever in my heart.
Perhaps it will never be tamed
And maybe it's not supposed to be.
It's all a blur,
Fleeting colors that never stop.
Life is passing me by
And I can't keep up.
I really want it all to stop,
And make these moments last.
It's just hard to believe
My baby girls are growing up so fast
Now I can't get away.
I even thought that it was simple
To say the things I wanted to say
-Michelle Branch, Find My Way Back
I find lately that I'm at a loss for words. Everything on my mind just isn't translating to sentences. I'm feeling more poetic, so I'll try and express myself that way for now.
I don't think I could tame
That beautiful free spirit.
Always on my mind.
Forever in my heart.
Perhaps it will never be tamed
And maybe it's not supposed to be.
It's all a blur,
Fleeting colors that never stop.
Life is passing me by
And I can't keep up.
I really want it all to stop,
And make these moments last.
It's just hard to believe
My baby girls are growing up so fast
That's Not My Name
Posted in Husband, lyrics, Scarlett, The Ting Tings, Words on 1:24 PM by Alicia
They call me 'quiet girl'
But I'm a riot
Mary, Jo, Lisa
Always the same
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
-The Ting Tings
I think I've spoken before of how cute it is to hear Scarlett pronounce her words. It's fun to hear her emphasis and the syllables that she leaves out. This was never one of them. From the very first time she said 'spider', I knew what she was talking about... my husband did not. He asked her to say the word several times yesterday before he finally broke down and asked what she was saying (through his laughs, actually). I told him that she was asking to play spiders (The Itsy Bitsy Spider story we have on our phones). He laughed even harder... "it sounds like she's saying badass"... Maybe you should be the judge...
HAHA!! Yes, I agree with him that if you don't know what she's trying to say, it sounds an awful lot like badass, so that's his new favorite thing to get her to say.
Oh the goofiness in my house sometimes.
But I'm a riot
Mary, Jo, Lisa
Always the same
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
-The Ting Tings
I think I've spoken before of how cute it is to hear Scarlett pronounce her words. It's fun to hear her emphasis and the syllables that she leaves out. This was never one of them. From the very first time she said 'spider', I knew what she was talking about... my husband did not. He asked her to say the word several times yesterday before he finally broke down and asked what she was saying (through his laughs, actually). I told him that she was asking to play spiders (The Itsy Bitsy Spider story we have on our phones). He laughed even harder... "it sounds like she's saying badass"... Maybe you should be the judge...
HAHA!! Yes, I agree with him that if you don't know what she's trying to say, it sounds an awful lot like badass, so that's his new favorite thing to get her to say.
Oh the goofiness in my house sometimes.
Not Ready to Make Nice
Posted in Dixie Chicks, family, little girls, lyrics, Scarlett on 10:53 AM by Alicia
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down.
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time
To go round and round and round.
-Dixie Chicks
Well, she's officially found it. My Achilles heel. And she now knows how to break my heart with two simple words.
It was Saturday and nearing her bedtime. She was playing with her little purse, opening and closing, adding new things and taking others out. I'm not sure what came over her, but she decided to hit me with it. I asked her not to do that, it's not nice to hit people. She turned and hit her dad. I took the purse away from her and told her that we have to be nice and since she wasn't being nice with the purse, she didn't need to play with it right now.
The tears started immediately.
I got up to use the restroom, leaving the two of them on the couch. Adam (who admits he isn't as fluent in Scarlett's language as I am) came to the door to ask me what she was saying. "It sounds like nigh nigh... is she ready for bed?". I told him I wasn't sure and I'd be out in a second.
When I came into the living room, I could see how he would think it was 'nigh nigh'. It took me a minute to realize what she was saying...
There, sitting on the couch, wiping tears from her eyes, my little girl was pleading her case.
"I nice"
Talk about hitting a nerve!! I couldn't give her that purse back quick enough... All I wanted to do for the rest of the night was hold her and tell her that she was a good girl and she *is* nice. I can't even tell you how awful I felt.
So there you have it. Two little words that can bring a grown woman to her knees... well, when said by the right little person anyway.
I'm not ready to back down.
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time
To go round and round and round.
-Dixie Chicks
Well, she's officially found it. My Achilles heel. And she now knows how to break my heart with two simple words.
It was Saturday and nearing her bedtime. She was playing with her little purse, opening and closing, adding new things and taking others out. I'm not sure what came over her, but she decided to hit me with it. I asked her not to do that, it's not nice to hit people. She turned and hit her dad. I took the purse away from her and told her that we have to be nice and since she wasn't being nice with the purse, she didn't need to play with it right now.
The tears started immediately.
I got up to use the restroom, leaving the two of them on the couch. Adam (who admits he isn't as fluent in Scarlett's language as I am) came to the door to ask me what she was saying. "It sounds like nigh nigh... is she ready for bed?". I told him I wasn't sure and I'd be out in a second.
When I came into the living room, I could see how he would think it was 'nigh nigh'. It took me a minute to realize what she was saying...
There, sitting on the couch, wiping tears from her eyes, my little girl was pleading her case.
"I nice"
Talk about hitting a nerve!! I couldn't give her that purse back quick enough... All I wanted to do for the rest of the night was hold her and tell her that she was a good girl and she *is* nice. I can't even tell you how awful I felt.
So there you have it. Two little words that can bring a grown woman to her knees... well, when said by the right little person anyway.
Colors of the Wind
Posted in Disney, lyrics, Scarlett, singing on 1:32 PM by Alicia
For whether we are white or copper skin
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind
You can own the earth and still
All you'll own is earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind
- Disney's Pocahontas, Colors of the Wind
Thinking about my song choice for the day, it might seem kind of weird to you. It is a very special song to me, though...
We sang this for our fall concert in 7th grade. It was the very first time I had a *solo* in choir. I sang the whole first verse. It was monumental for me and I think it really was the springboard to my love of singing and music. To this day, I still remember trembling stepping up to the microphone and the slight quiver in my voice when I started. So, when I went searching for something to go along with what I wanted to post today, it seemed natural to add this song.
If I was titling this myself, it'd have been "My Too Cute Two Year Old".
I know there are loads and loads of horror stories about the 'terrible twos', but I think there is a definite lack of stores about what I will affectionately call the 'too cute twos'. This will be proof of the latter...
She opened a gift for her birthday, saw the sunglasses and didn't care about anything else. IT was a cute little outfit that matched, along with some hair bows... she didn't even look at it... all she wanted to do was put on a little show with her new glasses.
One thing that I find incredible at this age is how fast they learn. I'm nearly positive that every evening when I have conversations with Scarlett, she says a new word. I love *love* hearing her pronounce new words for the first time. It's so funny to watch her explore her noises and imitate sounds. SO, recently she began asking something very specific and I nearly fell over... It is *the* cutest (other than 'I yove you') word she says right now...
So there it is...just a little glimpse into a 'too cute twos' moment. Don't get me wrong, we have plenty of 'terrible two' moments, too, but I try not to dwell on those. She's learning about herself and boundaries and compromise and those kinds of things...It has to be hard.
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind
You can own the earth and still
All you'll own is earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind
- Disney's Pocahontas, Colors of the Wind
Thinking about my song choice for the day, it might seem kind of weird to you. It is a very special song to me, though...
We sang this for our fall concert in 7th grade. It was the very first time I had a *solo* in choir. I sang the whole first verse. It was monumental for me and I think it really was the springboard to my love of singing and music. To this day, I still remember trembling stepping up to the microphone and the slight quiver in my voice when I started. So, when I went searching for something to go along with what I wanted to post today, it seemed natural to add this song.
If I was titling this myself, it'd have been "My Too Cute Two Year Old".
I know there are loads and loads of horror stories about the 'terrible twos', but I think there is a definite lack of stores about what I will affectionately call the 'too cute twos'. This will be proof of the latter...
She opened a gift for her birthday, saw the sunglasses and didn't care about anything else. IT was a cute little outfit that matched, along with some hair bows... she didn't even look at it... all she wanted to do was put on a little show with her new glasses.
One thing that I find incredible at this age is how fast they learn. I'm nearly positive that every evening when I have conversations with Scarlett, she says a new word. I love *love* hearing her pronounce new words for the first time. It's so funny to watch her explore her noises and imitate sounds. SO, recently she began asking something very specific and I nearly fell over... It is *the* cutest (other than 'I yove you') word she says right now...
So there it is...just a little glimpse into a 'too cute twos' moment. Don't get me wrong, we have plenty of 'terrible two' moments, too, but I try not to dwell on those. She's learning about herself and boundaries and compromise and those kinds of things...It has to be hard.
Hey, Soul Sister
Posted in Husband, love, lyrics, Train on 10:41 AM by Alicia
He made me cry last night... the good kind of cry.
He came home very excited to have me listen to a new song he heard. "It reminds me SO much of you. I could've written it...well, except the part about Mr. Mister, because I've never heard you listen to them"
Just that he thought of me made my eyes well up with tears, then the song started. It's not even a sappy love song... more goofy and off the wall, upbeat kind of song. I couldn't help the tears that came. I'm so lucky to have him.
Youre the only one Im dreaming of, you see
I can be myself now finally
In fact theres nothing I cant be
I want the world to see youll be with me
-Train, Hey Soul Sister
He came home very excited to have me listen to a new song he heard. "It reminds me SO much of you. I could've written it...well, except the part about Mr. Mister, because I've never heard you listen to them"
Just that he thought of me made my eyes well up with tears, then the song started. It's not even a sappy love song... more goofy and off the wall, upbeat kind of song. I couldn't help the tears that came. I'm so lucky to have him.
Youre the only one Im dreaming of, you see
I can be myself now finally
In fact theres nothing I cant be
I want the world to see youll be with me
-Train, Hey Soul Sister
I've Learned My Lessons
Posted in family, little girls, lyrics, Mr.Big, Scarlett on 10:22 AM by Alicia
I've learned my lesson
Been down that road before
I've learned my lesson
And the message is you'll never fly
'Til you learn how to fall
-Mr. Big, I've Learned My Lessons
I'm sure it's not the first time this has happened to someone, but it will certainly be the last time it happens to me! I mean, honestly, how dare I question my darling daughter's words???
Last night, Scarlett and I went to my cousin's house for dinner. After she had finished eating, I asked if she needed to go potty and she did. We went to the bathroom and she sat up on the toilet and peed. CELEBRATION!
(She's been doing really well with peeing in the potty. I'm so excited about how quickly she's figuring it all out.)
Anyway... She didn't want to put the pull up on when she was done and I (in my lazy, pregnant state) didn't want to chase her around the house. I sat on a chair and asked her to come put her 'big girl pants' on. She ran around like a mad woman for a few minutes and I mentioned to my cousin how "I'd be worried about her not having underpants on if she hadn't just gone potty." I sure ate those words. Scarlett said potty as she ran by the bathroom and I told her we'd just gone and she needed to put her big girl pants on. Another lap around the kitchen and dining room and she stood in the hall in front of the bathroom. I was distracted by something, turned my head and when I looked back, I was horrified!
Still standing in the hall, she had poo'd on the floor.
Oh. my. gosh.
I can't even remember all the things that went though my head at that moment, but I'm sure it was something like this: Did she really just do that? Why didn't I take her potty when she said it again? I hope this cleans up easily. I'm so embarassed. What a stinker...literally! She's really smart about potty, I guess. Why didn't I just grab her and put the pull up on? Oh my gosh. I can't believe this is really happening.
Thank goodness my cousin laughed it off. She has 4 kids of her own, so she knows how things can be. I'm still in complete shock about it all.
I guess the moral of this story is that you should never doubt a 2 year old. LOL!
Been down that road before
I've learned my lesson
And the message is you'll never fly
'Til you learn how to fall
-Mr. Big, I've Learned My Lessons
I'm sure it's not the first time this has happened to someone, but it will certainly be the last time it happens to me! I mean, honestly, how dare I question my darling daughter's words???
Last night, Scarlett and I went to my cousin's house for dinner. After she had finished eating, I asked if she needed to go potty and she did. We went to the bathroom and she sat up on the toilet and peed. CELEBRATION!
(She's been doing really well with peeing in the potty. I'm so excited about how quickly she's figuring it all out.)
Anyway... She didn't want to put the pull up on when she was done and I (in my lazy, pregnant state) didn't want to chase her around the house. I sat on a chair and asked her to come put her 'big girl pants' on. She ran around like a mad woman for a few minutes and I mentioned to my cousin how "I'd be worried about her not having underpants on if she hadn't just gone potty." I sure ate those words. Scarlett said potty as she ran by the bathroom and I told her we'd just gone and she needed to put her big girl pants on. Another lap around the kitchen and dining room and she stood in the hall in front of the bathroom. I was distracted by something, turned my head and when I looked back, I was horrified!
Still standing in the hall, she had poo'd on the floor.
Oh. my. gosh.
I can't even remember all the things that went though my head at that moment, but I'm sure it was something like this: Did she really just do that? Why didn't I take her potty when she said it again? I hope this cleans up easily. I'm so embarassed. What a stinker...literally! She's really smart about potty, I guess. Why didn't I just grab her and put the pull up on? Oh my gosh. I can't believe this is really happening.
Thank goodness my cousin laughed it off. She has 4 kids of her own, so she knows how things can be. I'm still in complete shock about it all.
I guess the moral of this story is that you should never doubt a 2 year old. LOL!
Helpless When She Smiles
Posted in baby, Backstreet Boys, family, little girls, lyrics, pregnancy, sisters on 1:11 PM by Alicia
She'll dance away just like a child,
She drives me crazy, drives me wild,
But I'm helpless when she smiles.
-Backstreet Boys, Helpless When She Smiles
I think the takeover has become official. I'm no longer in control at my house, it's now under the rule of a 34 inch, 24 lb toddler who thinks she knows everything.
Is it bad that I find her completely hilarious?! I mean, as long as there isn't a fit, or screaming/crying involved, I think she is just funny.
Example 1: Saturday she talked back to her dad... I had to hide my face in a blanket so she wouldn't see me laughing until I cried! There was a dog food commercial on with an English Bulldog. Adam got excited (his favorite kind of dog) and showed Scarlett the puppy. Moments later, the screen flashed to 3 poodles (dogs that Adam can't stand, for whatever reason) and Scarlett got *really* excited. She was bouncing up and down saying 'puppen' over and over again. Adam told her no way, no poodles and that little girl wagged her finger at him and mumbled some kind of response back to him. This went back and forth between them for a few minutes, until Adam finally said "no poodles" and Scarlett said "fine!". Funny now? Totally! In a few years? Definitely not. I feel like I should be doing things to correct this, but it's kind of hard when I can't even catch my breath between the belly shaking laughs.
Example 2: 'NO' was her word of the day yesterday. I hate that it's so cute when she says it. She purses her lips out really far with the oooo sound of the word and continues about her business as if nothing happened. Ready for a nap? Nooooo. Want to have dinner? Nooooo. Let's go bye-bye... Nooooo. It's bath time! Nooooo. And my personal favorite... Do you need to go potty? Nooooo. Which is quickly followed by her running to the bathroom. Sometimes I think she just likes the word NO.
Right here is where I started considering putting a disclaimer up at the top of this post: I'm not really as bad of a mom as this makes me sound! LOL!!!!
Example 3: After her bath last night, she was really really tired. She had decided not to nap during the day (despite my best efforts) and was really hitting the end of her rope. Boy, let me tell you, she is CRAZY when she is that tired. Not the bad kind, the fall over laughing because she is so silly kind. I definitely get the bad mommy award for last night... I ended up letting her stay up another hour and half after her bath. I was having far too much fun playing with her, watching her laugh at herself and just enjoying the wonderful time together. It's not often that I have these great times where she doesn't act like the 'terrible twos' are taking over my little angel. I wanted to soak up every second of it. And when she started winding down, I took her to bed and she didn't make a peep. It was a great evening. A wonderful reminder that while she still has those horrid fits, my funny little girl is still in there. :)
*Sigh*
I think I'm becoming soft. I find myself starting to worry that Scarlett won't adjust to her new sister as easily as I'd like to imagine. I'm scared she's going to have big issues and I feel really bad. I think I'm trying to make things as easy as possible between her and I in this next few months that we have as *just* her and I. Probably not the best idea, but I suppose I'll deal with the consequences as they come. Soon she'll have to share me.
She drives me crazy, drives me wild,
But I'm helpless when she smiles.
-Backstreet Boys, Helpless When She Smiles
I think the takeover has become official. I'm no longer in control at my house, it's now under the rule of a 34 inch, 24 lb toddler who thinks she knows everything.
Is it bad that I find her completely hilarious?! I mean, as long as there isn't a fit, or screaming/crying involved, I think she is just funny.
Example 1: Saturday she talked back to her dad... I had to hide my face in a blanket so she wouldn't see me laughing until I cried! There was a dog food commercial on with an English Bulldog. Adam got excited (his favorite kind of dog) and showed Scarlett the puppy. Moments later, the screen flashed to 3 poodles (dogs that Adam can't stand, for whatever reason) and Scarlett got *really* excited. She was bouncing up and down saying 'puppen' over and over again. Adam told her no way, no poodles and that little girl wagged her finger at him and mumbled some kind of response back to him. This went back and forth between them for a few minutes, until Adam finally said "no poodles" and Scarlett said "fine!". Funny now? Totally! In a few years? Definitely not. I feel like I should be doing things to correct this, but it's kind of hard when I can't even catch my breath between the belly shaking laughs.
Example 2: 'NO' was her word of the day yesterday. I hate that it's so cute when she says it. She purses her lips out really far with the oooo sound of the word and continues about her business as if nothing happened. Ready for a nap? Nooooo. Want to have dinner? Nooooo. Let's go bye-bye... Nooooo. It's bath time! Nooooo. And my personal favorite... Do you need to go potty? Nooooo. Which is quickly followed by her running to the bathroom. Sometimes I think she just likes the word NO.
Right here is where I started considering putting a disclaimer up at the top of this post: I'm not really as bad of a mom as this makes me sound! LOL!!!!
Example 3: After her bath last night, she was really really tired. She had decided not to nap during the day (despite my best efforts) and was really hitting the end of her rope. Boy, let me tell you, she is CRAZY when she is that tired. Not the bad kind, the fall over laughing because she is so silly kind. I definitely get the bad mommy award for last night... I ended up letting her stay up another hour and half after her bath. I was having far too much fun playing with her, watching her laugh at herself and just enjoying the wonderful time together. It's not often that I have these great times where she doesn't act like the 'terrible twos' are taking over my little angel. I wanted to soak up every second of it. And when she started winding down, I took her to bed and she didn't make a peep. It was a great evening. A wonderful reminder that while she still has those horrid fits, my funny little girl is still in there. :)
*Sigh*
I think I'm becoming soft. I find myself starting to worry that Scarlett won't adjust to her new sister as easily as I'd like to imagine. I'm scared she's going to have big issues and I feel really bad. I think I'm trying to make things as easy as possible between her and I in this next few months that we have as *just* her and I. Probably not the best idea, but I suppose I'll deal with the consequences as they come. Soon she'll have to share me.
Happy
Posted in Husband, love, lyrics, Natasha Beddingfield, Thankful on 9:51 AM by Alicia
Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy
-Natasha Beddingfield, Happy
The mood has passed. That little grey cloud that I felt hung on me yesterday has dissipated, with much thanks to my Happy Pill. Sounds like an ad for some anti-depression meds... I have my own form of that, I guess.
I have an amazing husband, who always seems to know what I need before I need it.
Ever since Thanksgiving, my sisters-in-law quizzed me daily about what I wanted for Christmas. It took me a few weeks to think of things, but when I decided, i was really excited. I wanted bath goodies from Lush, my favorite bath goody store. Then a few weeks later, they told me they went to the store and left empty handed because they didn't like the smell. BUMMER! I was disappointed.
Fast forward to Christmas morning (and if kids are reading, stop here...). We opened presents and passed out stockings. I looked in my stocking to see that my wonderful husband drove over a half hour before work one day so that he could fill my stocking with LUSH bath balls, melts and bubble bars. He's so sweet. I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but I'm so glad I did.
And then we come to last night... After I put the little one to bed, I thought about how nice a warm bath sounded. I pulled out my bag of goodies so I could find one to put in the tub with me. THIS is what I found... a happy pill. I couldn't help but smile when reading about it. I love that he picked that one out. I like to think he imagined my face and my thoughts when I opened it and read the 'purpose' of this bomb. It makes me laugh when I imagine his thought process in choosing this... 1) wife is crabby. 2) she wants a bath. 3) drop in Happy Pill. 4) Play video games while she bathes. 5) She comes out smiling.
It worked like a charm. Incredible bath, and I did come out smiling.
I'm so glad he's mine.
Got my friends got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy
-Natasha Beddingfield, Happy
The mood has passed. That little grey cloud that I felt hung on me yesterday has dissipated, with much thanks to my Happy Pill. Sounds like an ad for some anti-depression meds... I have my own form of that, I guess.
I have an amazing husband, who always seems to know what I need before I need it.
Ever since Thanksgiving, my sisters-in-law quizzed me daily about what I wanted for Christmas. It took me a few weeks to think of things, but when I decided, i was really excited. I wanted bath goodies from Lush, my favorite bath goody store. Then a few weeks later, they told me they went to the store and left empty handed because they didn't like the smell. BUMMER! I was disappointed.
Fast forward to Christmas morning (and if kids are reading, stop here...). We opened presents and passed out stockings. I looked in my stocking to see that my wonderful husband drove over a half hour before work one day so that he could fill my stocking with LUSH bath balls, melts and bubble bars. He's so sweet. I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but I'm so glad I did.
And then we come to last night... After I put the little one to bed, I thought about how nice a warm bath sounded. I pulled out my bag of goodies so I could find one to put in the tub with me. THIS is what I found... a happy pill. I couldn't help but smile when reading about it. I love that he picked that one out. I like to think he imagined my face and my thoughts when I opened it and read the 'purpose' of this bomb. It makes me laugh when I imagine his thought process in choosing this... 1) wife is crabby. 2) she wants a bath. 3) drop in Happy Pill. 4) Play video games while she bathes. 5) She comes out smiling.
It worked like a charm. Incredible bath, and I did come out smiling.
I'm so glad he's mine.
Stand Still, Look Pretty
Posted in complaint, family, frustrations, growing up, insecurities, lyrics, my mom, The Wreckers, vent on 2:44 PM by Alicia
But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go and shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with them
-The Wreckers- Stand Still, Look Pretty
It's one of those days... You know, the kind where you wish you had stayed in bed.
Maybe it's the rain (I could add another song here... 'blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah').
Could be the lingering sadness of my hubby being back to work (for some reason it's really really hard for me this time).
It's possibly the pregnancy hormones (a very good possibility).
It's just that nothing has gone right today. From the moment I woke up, my mom was texting me about her problems with my dad. Mind you, they've been divorced for 23 years, but they've been good friends ever since. I hate these problems more than anything. I am always in the middle, feeling like the moderator in their disputes. My darn brother sucks the life out of them. How is it possible that a 29 year old can't manage his own money and bills? Because they continue to support this problem. They always bail him out, so he never has that need to do it the right way. It's thier problem to figure out and deal with though, not mine...
The real problem with their problem is where I fall. Neither of them have much time for me anymore... my mom is dating some new guy and my dad just doesn't come around often anymore. Top that off with the fact that my brother only comes around when he needs food or money. Bleh.
I think I'm too needy. I just need to have people around, or talk to people...I need that connection and no one else in my immediate life seems to. There are a couple exceptions... My cousin is awesome and invites me over regularly and my sister-in-law is usually good about wanting to hang out, but that includes her mom most times and the mother-in-law and I don't get along so well.
My husband went back to work. Did I mention that?
My daughter has hit the 'terrible twos'...they are every bit as terrible as they sound.
My work is a disaster...everything is a mess that I have to figure out how to put back together.
Had to argue with a cell phone provider regarding $330 worth of charges they are billing me, but don't want to show me why. Seriously. Is it too much to ask for a copy of the bill to prove why I owe it? Obiously my choice to disconnect a few months ago was a good one...
I feel fat. Yes, I'm pregnant and that is why I have a big, bulging belly, but somehow it's not obvious to a lot of people, so I'm just fat.
I have too many wants. Honestly. I'm really selfish and feel guilty about it.
HAHA! And I'm throwing myself a pity party now.
Someone should tell me to just shut up. The Wreckers said it best...There are people with problems that are worse than mine. So true. I have a lot to be happy about. I have a lot of good in my life and I won't forget it.
Let's just blame it on the rain, k?
And for good measure, I'll list some things that I'm happy or excited about.
Scarlett used the 'podden' all day yesterday. She did wet in her diaper a couple times, but every time she sat on the toilet she went pee. She even woke up asking to go!! Huge accomplishment and big step toward my goal of her being potty trained before our 2nd baby arrives.
I scheduled a 3d ultrasound! I was really hesitant to because I wanted to be surprised with how she looked, but I really really want to see her again.
Hubby doesn't have to work overtime this weekend!! He even said we could go to the Melting Pot for dinner or even just dessert.
A friend of my mom's is considering selling his house to us! I'd love love love to be in a new house soon.
Ok, I think that sets me right with the karma world. ;) Thanks for listening.
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go and shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with them
-The Wreckers- Stand Still, Look Pretty
It's one of those days... You know, the kind where you wish you had stayed in bed.
Maybe it's the rain (I could add another song here... 'blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah').
Could be the lingering sadness of my hubby being back to work (for some reason it's really really hard for me this time).
It's possibly the pregnancy hormones (a very good possibility).
It's just that nothing has gone right today. From the moment I woke up, my mom was texting me about her problems with my dad. Mind you, they've been divorced for 23 years, but they've been good friends ever since. I hate these problems more than anything. I am always in the middle, feeling like the moderator in their disputes. My darn brother sucks the life out of them. How is it possible that a 29 year old can't manage his own money and bills? Because they continue to support this problem. They always bail him out, so he never has that need to do it the right way. It's thier problem to figure out and deal with though, not mine...
The real problem with their problem is where I fall. Neither of them have much time for me anymore... my mom is dating some new guy and my dad just doesn't come around often anymore. Top that off with the fact that my brother only comes around when he needs food or money. Bleh.
I think I'm too needy. I just need to have people around, or talk to people...I need that connection and no one else in my immediate life seems to. There are a couple exceptions... My cousin is awesome and invites me over regularly and my sister-in-law is usually good about wanting to hang out, but that includes her mom most times and the mother-in-law and I don't get along so well.
My husband went back to work. Did I mention that?
My daughter has hit the 'terrible twos'...they are every bit as terrible as they sound.
My work is a disaster...everything is a mess that I have to figure out how to put back together.
Had to argue with a cell phone provider regarding $330 worth of charges they are billing me, but don't want to show me why. Seriously. Is it too much to ask for a copy of the bill to prove why I owe it? Obiously my choice to disconnect a few months ago was a good one...
I feel fat. Yes, I'm pregnant and that is why I have a big, bulging belly, but somehow it's not obvious to a lot of people, so I'm just fat.
I have too many wants. Honestly. I'm really selfish and feel guilty about it.
HAHA! And I'm throwing myself a pity party now.
Someone should tell me to just shut up. The Wreckers said it best...There are people with problems that are worse than mine. So true. I have a lot to be happy about. I have a lot of good in my life and I won't forget it.
Let's just blame it on the rain, k?
And for good measure, I'll list some things that I'm happy or excited about.
Scarlett used the 'podden' all day yesterday. She did wet in her diaper a couple times, but every time she sat on the toilet she went pee. She even woke up asking to go!! Huge accomplishment and big step toward my goal of her being potty trained before our 2nd baby arrives.
I scheduled a 3d ultrasound! I was really hesitant to because I wanted to be surprised with how she looked, but I really really want to see her again.
Hubby doesn't have to work overtime this weekend!! He even said we could go to the Melting Pot for dinner or even just dessert.
A friend of my mom's is considering selling his house to us! I'd love love love to be in a new house soon.
Ok, I think that sets me right with the karma world. ;) Thanks for listening.
Stay or Leave
Posted in Dave Matthews Band, Husband, love, lyrics, Stay or Leave on 12:53 PM by Alicia
1 am rolled around and he was fighting his sleep. Fighting hard, for me.
Part of it is because I'm such a night owl. I could easily stay up until 3 am before passing out. I try and try to sleep earlier (it's not easy to get out of bed for work when I stay up so late) but I just end up staring at the ceiling listening to my hubby mumble and snore in his sleep.
The other part is that it was our last night home together and I didn't want it to end. His vacation is over. It seemed too short, but I'm trying hard to be thankful for the time we did have. I made him stay up until he just physically couldn't do it anymore. I made him talk to me and rub my back and even (gasp) cuddle! Haha! I have to say it like that because I can't cuddle when I go to sleep. I need some space...breathing room, especially with my ever expanding belly.
Sounds silly to even make a big deal of...
He comes home every night. I should be grateful for that. Some days it just seems so hard. Today is one of them. I'll see him at 11 pm and he'll be ready for bed by midnight. I guess that's ok. I should appreciate more that I have that hour with him... I'm just selfish. I want more. I want him all to myself, all the time. Silly me.
p.s. Sorry, I just couldn't pick one part of the song... I just love the whole thing.
May be different but remember
Winters warm there you and I
Kissing whiskey by the fire
With the snow outside
And when the summer comes...
The river swims at midnight shiver cold
Touch the bottom, you and I
With muddy toes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you should
It was good as good, goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you did
Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us
It was good good love
You used to laugh under the covers
Maybe not so often now
The way I used to laugh with you
Was loud and hard
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you did
so what to do
with the rest of the days afternoon
Hey, isn’t it strange how we change everything we did
Did I do all that I should?
or that I coulda done
Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
what day is this?
besides the day you left me
what day is this?
besides the day you went
So what to do with the rest of the days afternoon
Hey, isn’t it strange how we change everything we did
Did I do all that I could?
Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
what day is this?
besides the day you left me
what day is this?
-Dave Matthews Band, Stay or Leave
Part of it is because I'm such a night owl. I could easily stay up until 3 am before passing out. I try and try to sleep earlier (it's not easy to get out of bed for work when I stay up so late) but I just end up staring at the ceiling listening to my hubby mumble and snore in his sleep.
The other part is that it was our last night home together and I didn't want it to end. His vacation is over. It seemed too short, but I'm trying hard to be thankful for the time we did have. I made him stay up until he just physically couldn't do it anymore. I made him talk to me and rub my back and even (gasp) cuddle! Haha! I have to say it like that because I can't cuddle when I go to sleep. I need some space...breathing room, especially with my ever expanding belly.
Sounds silly to even make a big deal of...
He comes home every night. I should be grateful for that. Some days it just seems so hard. Today is one of them. I'll see him at 11 pm and he'll be ready for bed by midnight. I guess that's ok. I should appreciate more that I have that hour with him... I'm just selfish. I want more. I want him all to myself, all the time. Silly me.
p.s. Sorry, I just couldn't pick one part of the song... I just love the whole thing.
May be different but remember
Winters warm there you and I
Kissing whiskey by the fire
With the snow outside
And when the summer comes...
The river swims at midnight shiver cold
Touch the bottom, you and I
With muddy toes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you should
It was good as good, goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you did
Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us
It was good good love
You used to laugh under the covers
Maybe not so often now
The way I used to laugh with you
Was loud and hard
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you did
so what to do
with the rest of the days afternoon
Hey, isn’t it strange how we change everything we did
Did I do all that I should?
or that I coulda done
Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
what day is this?
besides the day you left me
what day is this?
besides the day you went
So what to do with the rest of the days afternoon
Hey, isn’t it strange how we change everything we did
Did I do all that I could?
Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
what day is this?
besides the day you left me
what day is this?
-Dave Matthews Band, Stay or Leave
Just The Two of Us
Posted in holidays, little girls, lyrics, Scarlett, singing, Will Smith on 1:51 PM by Alicia
Everytime I look at you I think man, a little me
Just like me
-Will Smith, Just The Two of Us
It's really a wonder to watch kids grow. It doesn't seem like too long ago that Scarlett only did four things...eat, sleep, cry and potty. Today, she's developed into her own person. She has her own opinions, wants, likes and dislikes (which she's very willing to share with you) and quite a personality.
The best part of it all is watching what she picks up from her dad and I. On Christmas Eve, I sat in the bathroom and did my makeup. When I got up to get dressed, I came back to the bathroom to see this...
HAHAHA!! It was the cutest thing. She went on for about 15 minutes with different colors and brushes (not actually putting it on, but thinking she was). Maybe it's time to start watching what I say and do...I'd hate to think of my bad habits and words she could pick up.
And then there is this... She got a new toy for Christmas. A princess vanity that has a piano and several small musical toys. I like to think she's musical because I am. I sang to her every day when I was pregnant and still do. We dance and sing every chance we have. I'm so glad to have this little gem on tape. You have to listen close to hear her occasional singing, but it sure is priceless.
Just like me
-Will Smith, Just The Two of Us
It's really a wonder to watch kids grow. It doesn't seem like too long ago that Scarlett only did four things...eat, sleep, cry and potty. Today, she's developed into her own person. She has her own opinions, wants, likes and dislikes (which she's very willing to share with you) and quite a personality.
The best part of it all is watching what she picks up from her dad and I. On Christmas Eve, I sat in the bathroom and did my makeup. When I got up to get dressed, I came back to the bathroom to see this...
HAHAHA!! It was the cutest thing. She went on for about 15 minutes with different colors and brushes (not actually putting it on, but thinking she was). Maybe it's time to start watching what I say and do...I'd hate to think of my bad habits and words she could pick up.
And then there is this... She got a new toy for Christmas. A princess vanity that has a piano and several small musical toys. I like to think she's musical because I am. I sang to her every day when I was pregnant and still do. We dance and sing every chance we have. I'm so glad to have this little gem on tape. You have to listen close to hear her occasional singing, but it sure is priceless.
It's So Chic to be Preganant at Christmas
Posted in holidays, lyrics, pregnancy on 3:58 PM by Alicia
Ok, so I had planned on writing a nice post today and in the process of finding a song to fit my mood I stumbled upon this gem.
I think this says it all...some days, anyway...
I promise I'll actually write something tomorrow, but for now, enjoy!!
I think this says it all...some days, anyway...
I promise I'll actually write something tomorrow, but for now, enjoy!!
A Heart Full of Love
Posted in family, growing up, holidays, Husband, Les Miserables, love, lyrics on 3:39 PM by Alicia
A heart full of love
No fear, no regret.
-Les Miserables
I can't help but giggle when I listen to my sisters-in-law talk about their Christmas plans. It seems like not long ago that it was Adam and I discussing how we would visit all of our families in the short span they all wanted to see us in.
This is our 9th Christmas together.
I'm slightly embarassed to admit this, but I think I've finally got it figured out. It took me 9 years, but I finally realized why I don't need to worry about who to see and where to drive... I have *them*. The two people that I really want to spend time with will be with me no matter where we go. My husband and daughter (along with the one in my belly) will be at every dinner, in the car on every road and singing along with my every Christmas carol. Nothing else matters as long as I have them. It's a beautiful thing to be able to let go of the stress and rushing that comes with trying to please everyone.
So while I can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing my every moment on Christmas Eve and Day will be filled with love from my little family, I can also sympathize with those that aren't there yet... I remember the feelings, the disappointment, and worry about disappointing others. I can lend an ear and a shoulder to lean on while it all seems so tough. One day they will find this bliss. This year, I have mine.
No fear, no regret.
-Les Miserables
I can't help but giggle when I listen to my sisters-in-law talk about their Christmas plans. It seems like not long ago that it was Adam and I discussing how we would visit all of our families in the short span they all wanted to see us in.
This is our 9th Christmas together.
I'm slightly embarassed to admit this, but I think I've finally got it figured out. It took me 9 years, but I finally realized why I don't need to worry about who to see and where to drive... I have *them*. The two people that I really want to spend time with will be with me no matter where we go. My husband and daughter (along with the one in my belly) will be at every dinner, in the car on every road and singing along with my every Christmas carol. Nothing else matters as long as I have them. It's a beautiful thing to be able to let go of the stress and rushing that comes with trying to please everyone.
So while I can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing my every moment on Christmas Eve and Day will be filled with love from my little family, I can also sympathize with those that aren't there yet... I remember the feelings, the disappointment, and worry about disappointing others. I can lend an ear and a shoulder to lean on while it all seems so tough. One day they will find this bliss. This year, I have mine.
The Itsy Bitsy Spider
Posted in growing up, lyrics, Scarlett, singing on 12:04 PM by Alicia
It never ceases to amaze me how much Scarlett knows. She shows me something new every day. Not long ago, it was The Itsy Bitsy Spider. We sang it at The Little Gym one night and I was shocked to see that she knew the hand motions with it! Of course, I sang it over and over and over again for days...how could you not?! It was too cute. I managed to get a bit on video, but she was getting fed up with me. I just love watching her learn and grow. It's incredible to see life again through a child's eyes. Everything is so much more vibrant.
She
Posted in baby, Elvis Costello, little girls, lyrics, pregnancy, sisters on 12:21 PM by Alicia
I know it's been a long while since I updated, but I'm trying to get back on top of my life and the things I want/need to be doing. I feel like I'm finally getting over the morning sickness hump. It's getting less and less often, so I'm sure I'm nearly done with it.
I had my 'big' ultrasound last week. Everything looked good, baby is healthy and despite that news I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. This was my 3rd ultrasound and I still didn't get a picture of my babe to take home. It's probably a silly thing to be upset about that, but keep in mind, I'm a little hormonal (and by a little, I mean WATCH OUT, I can't control myself at all). The doc asked me how everything went and I took the opportunity to express my disappointment. I was surprised at how his expression changed... He's such a kind doctor and so understanding. He put the wand on my tummy and the first thing that popped up on screen was a little bum. He looked at it from several angles before deciding that it was definitely a girl. I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face. I couldn't help but imagine my sweet little Scarlett with a tiny sister and how they would grow together and learn so much from each other. I'm bursting with excitment at the coming months and a sweet pair of sisters. So my song today is dedicated to my girls...
She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and rainy years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She
-Elvis Costello, She
I had my 'big' ultrasound last week. Everything looked good, baby is healthy and despite that news I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. This was my 3rd ultrasound and I still didn't get a picture of my babe to take home. It's probably a silly thing to be upset about that, but keep in mind, I'm a little hormonal (and by a little, I mean WATCH OUT, I can't control myself at all). The doc asked me how everything went and I took the opportunity to express my disappointment. I was surprised at how his expression changed... He's such a kind doctor and so understanding. He put the wand on my tummy and the first thing that popped up on screen was a little bum. He looked at it from several angles before deciding that it was definitely a girl. I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face. I couldn't help but imagine my sweet little Scarlett with a tiny sister and how they would grow together and learn so much from each other. I'm bursting with excitment at the coming months and a sweet pair of sisters. So my song today is dedicated to my girls...
She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and rainy years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She
-Elvis Costello, She
What You Are
Posted in baby, Dave Matthews Band, lyrics on 12:05 PM by Alicia
What you are
Is a missing piece
What you are
Is a puzzle to me
-Dave Matthews Band- What You Are
We have a date! Our ultrasound has been scheduled and in a mere 3 weeks, we will be able to take a peek at this little person I'm feeling move around. Not only that, but we will possibly get an answer to that nagging little question...what gender is it? I have to laugh because it seems that everyone else wants to know more than I do. I can honestly say I am happy to just have a healthy baby. Every time I think I know what it is anyway, I change my mind. I was sure this babe was a girl for the longest time, but there are things that make me think boy quite often, too. Hence the lyrics by one of my fave artists, Dave Matthews. It's a puzzle to me. I kind of like it like that.
Is a missing piece
What you are
Is a puzzle to me
-Dave Matthews Band- What You Are
We have a date! Our ultrasound has been scheduled and in a mere 3 weeks, we will be able to take a peek at this little person I'm feeling move around. Not only that, but we will possibly get an answer to that nagging little question...what gender is it? I have to laugh because it seems that everyone else wants to know more than I do. I can honestly say I am happy to just have a healthy baby. Every time I think I know what it is anyway, I change my mind. I was sure this babe was a girl for the longest time, but there are things that make me think boy quite often, too. Hence the lyrics by one of my fave artists, Dave Matthews. It's a puzzle to me. I kind of like it like that.
One More Girl
Posted in frustrations, Husband, lyrics, my mom, The Wreckers, vent on 10:25 AM by Alicia
I took off my iron smile
because I felt it weighed me down.
-The Wreckers- One More Girl
Maybe it's my hormones, but I can't seem to shake this sadness. Just when I start feeling good, something else happens...another fight, another setback, another angry person.
I love my husband to pieces, but sometimes he just doesn't *get it*. I was excited to find out that we would be getting our childcare paid for, saving us loads of money. I thought it would be a great way to pay off our awful debt. He is trying to manipulate the situation so we spend more on his car than the insurance company gave us. I feel like the bad guy. We've shopped for 2 weeks for a car for him and he has turned down every one we saw that was in our budget. I feel like he's trying to break me down. I want out of debt, not into more debt!! Just frustrating.
And my mom... I know she gave birth to me and raised me, but does that give her the right to make my decisions? It's funny because some friends and I were talking about this really recently...this hold our mothers have over us. Yesterday I told my mom that I didn't want to find out the gender of this baby, but Adam does. I told her I would likely give in and we would find out, but I think it would be loads of fun to wait until delivery. She proceeded to tell me that if we didn't find out, she would. She would ask the tech, she would call, she would do what she had to do to know what gender my baby is. That's completely unacceptable in my opinion, but for some reason, she feels like that is her right. The conversation ended with her hanging up on me and me in tears. She was in the wrong, yet somehow I feel bad about the situation. Boo! She hates the name we picked out for a girl, too. She says she will absolutely never call her granddaughter by that name. Again...not her decision. She had her children and did everything how she wanted to and now it's my turn. Why doesn't she understand that? I can't wait to see my baby and know that it is healthy, but now I dread the decision of finding out the gender or not. It makes me want to go alone.
Ok, this was a huge vent post, but I feel a lot better after writing it. I need to write more often. My goal will be to write 3 more times this week!!
because I felt it weighed me down.
-The Wreckers- One More Girl
Maybe it's my hormones, but I can't seem to shake this sadness. Just when I start feeling good, something else happens...another fight, another setback, another angry person.
I love my husband to pieces, but sometimes he just doesn't *get it*. I was excited to find out that we would be getting our childcare paid for, saving us loads of money. I thought it would be a great way to pay off our awful debt. He is trying to manipulate the situation so we spend more on his car than the insurance company gave us. I feel like the bad guy. We've shopped for 2 weeks for a car for him and he has turned down every one we saw that was in our budget. I feel like he's trying to break me down. I want out of debt, not into more debt!! Just frustrating.
And my mom... I know she gave birth to me and raised me, but does that give her the right to make my decisions? It's funny because some friends and I were talking about this really recently...this hold our mothers have over us. Yesterday I told my mom that I didn't want to find out the gender of this baby, but Adam does. I told her I would likely give in and we would find out, but I think it would be loads of fun to wait until delivery. She proceeded to tell me that if we didn't find out, she would. She would ask the tech, she would call, she would do what she had to do to know what gender my baby is. That's completely unacceptable in my opinion, but for some reason, she feels like that is her right. The conversation ended with her hanging up on me and me in tears. She was in the wrong, yet somehow I feel bad about the situation. Boo! She hates the name we picked out for a girl, too. She says she will absolutely never call her granddaughter by that name. Again...not her decision. She had her children and did everything how she wanted to and now it's my turn. Why doesn't she understand that? I can't wait to see my baby and know that it is healthy, but now I dread the decision of finding out the gender or not. It makes me want to go alone.
Ok, this was a huge vent post, but I feel a lot better after writing it. I need to write more often. My goal will be to write 3 more times this week!!
The One
Posted in Husband, insecurities, love, lyrics, Shakira on 1:02 PM by Alicia
I'm painfully self-conscious. That's my secret for you today.
I have to laugh that I would consider that a secret still. I'm sure anyone reading this knows about all my little sensitivities, something I often forget. I usually try and put on a strong and confidant face. I don't like people knowing I'm so tender and vulnerable.
Still yesterday I could feel my insecurities overflowing. I wasn't able to talk about it, because every time the thought crept into my mind I teared up...yesterday was April's due date. I'm so glad my dear cousin remembered and invited me to dinner. We didn't need to say anything, just the company is all I needed. It was so nice to be surrounded by that love.
After dinner I came home to make chocolate chip cookies to thank my husband's co-worker for giving him rides to work since our car was totalled. I love to bake, but I must admit that cookies (chocolate chip in particular) are not my specialty. I'm more of a cake, breads, and cupcake kind of girl. I burnt the first batch. Bummer. Then I feared I wouldn't get it right at all, after I had boasted about how he'd have fresh, warm cookies to take home that night! I have to laugh at the pressure I put on myself to get it right...they're just cookies, for goodness sake! Oh well, they got the hubby seal of approval as he walked them to his co-worker. Then he made sure to eat 3 more in front of me so I knew how much he liked them. I love that he knew I needed that re-assurance. I LOVE that he called me after being picked up for work to tell me his co-worker ate half the cookies already. I love him.
So I learned to cook
And finally lose my kitchen phobia
So I've got the arms to cuddle in
When there's a ghost or a muse
That brings insomnia
To buy more thongs,
To write more happy songs,
It always takes a little help from someone
You're the one I need
The way back home is always long
But if you're close to me
I'm holding on
-Shakira- The One
I have to laugh that I would consider that a secret still. I'm sure anyone reading this knows about all my little sensitivities, something I often forget. I usually try and put on a strong and confidant face. I don't like people knowing I'm so tender and vulnerable.
Still yesterday I could feel my insecurities overflowing. I wasn't able to talk about it, because every time the thought crept into my mind I teared up...yesterday was April's due date. I'm so glad my dear cousin remembered and invited me to dinner. We didn't need to say anything, just the company is all I needed. It was so nice to be surrounded by that love.
After dinner I came home to make chocolate chip cookies to thank my husband's co-worker for giving him rides to work since our car was totalled. I love to bake, but I must admit that cookies (chocolate chip in particular) are not my specialty. I'm more of a cake, breads, and cupcake kind of girl. I burnt the first batch. Bummer. Then I feared I wouldn't get it right at all, after I had boasted about how he'd have fresh, warm cookies to take home that night! I have to laugh at the pressure I put on myself to get it right...they're just cookies, for goodness sake! Oh well, they got the hubby seal of approval as he walked them to his co-worker. Then he made sure to eat 3 more in front of me so I knew how much he liked them. I love that he knew I needed that re-assurance. I LOVE that he called me after being picked up for work to tell me his co-worker ate half the cookies already. I love him.
So I learned to cook
And finally lose my kitchen phobia
So I've got the arms to cuddle in
When there's a ghost or a muse
That brings insomnia
To buy more thongs,
To write more happy songs,
It always takes a little help from someone
You're the one I need
The way back home is always long
But if you're close to me
I'm holding on
-Shakira- The One
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