Times have changed and so have I
I once was young and starry-eyed
- The Wreckers
I was talking with my mom the other day, and was suprised by one of her questions...
"So, why do you feed Liv on demand and not on a schedule like you did with Scarlett?"
The funny thing about that question is that Liv is technically on the same scheudle that Scarlett was, but it was her own doing, not mine.
But in all honesty, I didn't know how to answer her question. I immediately felt defensive, like she was questioning my parenting. In fact, I'm sure she was because it was different than how she did it and infinitely different than how her mother did it. See, that's the funny thing about first children... I feel like it took me so long to find my footing after having Scarlett that I took other people's advice like it was gold and not just an opinion. I tried so hard to 'look' like a good mom in other people's eyes, because I didn't want them to see how difficult the transition was for me. I loved and hoped for people to tell me how I was "such a natural mother" and I like to think a little bit of that is true. There are definitely nurturing, maternal things that came quickly, but I didn't trust myself or my instincts. I was so scared of doing something wrong.
I'm sure of myself now. I know I'm a good mom. I don't need the constant reassurance and I don't need to know how everyone else used to do it or would if they had another baby. Of course, I welcome opinions and advice, but I know that's all it is...opinions and advice. Mother knows best, right? I'm the mother now :) I love that feeling. I love that I know what is right for my daughters and my family. It's so empowering. I'm sure I'll still make plenty of mistakes, but that's the beauty of it.
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
You're Sixteen
Posted in baby, birthday, growing up, little girls, Olivia, Ringo Starr, Scarlett, sisters on by
You're all ribbons and curls, ooh, what a girl
Eyes that sparkle and shine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine
-Ringo Starr
My little peanut is 16 weeks old today. I know this song is meant for a 16 year old, but right now, 16 weeks seems so profound.
Where did the time go?
She got her first tooth in two days ago... Huge shock to me! Scarlett didn't get a tooth until she was 6 months, so 3.5 seemed far too early to even think about it. Somehow, I think this will be true to her form. I have this funny feeling Liv is going to be our child full of surprises. She's so quiet and alert. It sounds kind of funny to make assumptions about who your child will be when they're only 16 weeks, but I swear, thier personalities develop so quickly. I always knew Scarlett would be happy, silly, a big talker and wildy expressive... Olivia is already very different. My little Liv is quieter, speaking up only when she has something big to say, she is curious, but reserved and a wee bit more dependent than her big sister was. All in all, I'd call her a nice balance to Scarlett's outgoing, wild, silly nature.
It's so interesting to think about these things now. In two years, will I still feel this way? Will they be completely different? Or are these glimmers of characteristics a peek into the personalities my girls are going to develop in their adult lives? I could probably go on and on with this, so I'll stop myself here... I do think about it often though.
Livvy rolls over now, too. She's been working at it for a while, but couldn't quite get her tubby little self over. But that is another milestone she checked off this week.
Anyone know where I can get a 'pause', 'slow', and 'rewind' button? I feel like I need those right about now. I feel like each day slips into another too quickly. I don't have enough time to savor each moment, each new milestone before another comes.
For now, it's a happy 16 week birthday to my littlest and my oldest will be 2.5 years next week.
Eyes that sparkle and shine
You're sixteen, you're beautiful and you're mine
-Ringo Starr
My little peanut is 16 weeks old today. I know this song is meant for a 16 year old, but right now, 16 weeks seems so profound.
Where did the time go?
She got her first tooth in two days ago... Huge shock to me! Scarlett didn't get a tooth until she was 6 months, so 3.5 seemed far too early to even think about it. Somehow, I think this will be true to her form. I have this funny feeling Liv is going to be our child full of surprises. She's so quiet and alert. It sounds kind of funny to make assumptions about who your child will be when they're only 16 weeks, but I swear, thier personalities develop so quickly. I always knew Scarlett would be happy, silly, a big talker and wildy expressive... Olivia is already very different. My little Liv is quieter, speaking up only when she has something big to say, she is curious, but reserved and a wee bit more dependent than her big sister was. All in all, I'd call her a nice balance to Scarlett's outgoing, wild, silly nature.
It's so interesting to think about these things now. In two years, will I still feel this way? Will they be completely different? Or are these glimmers of characteristics a peek into the personalities my girls are going to develop in their adult lives? I could probably go on and on with this, so I'll stop myself here... I do think about it often though.
Livvy rolls over now, too. She's been working at it for a while, but couldn't quite get her tubby little self over. But that is another milestone she checked off this week.
Anyone know where I can get a 'pause', 'slow', and 'rewind' button? I feel like I need those right about now. I feel like each day slips into another too quickly. I don't have enough time to savor each moment, each new milestone before another comes.
For now, it's a happy 16 week birthday to my littlest and my oldest will be 2.5 years next week.
Due Date
Posted in baby, birth, family, little girls, Olivia, pregnancy, sisters, Thankful on by
Today is my due date...or was anyway... My beautiful little girl had a different plan. Instead of anxiously awaiting the contractions or water breaking, I'm snuggling my 12 day old peanut.
Yes, she was 12 days early. Not very early by most standards, but my first daughter stayed snuggled in there until a week after her due date. I think I expected the same for this one.
I was caught by complete surprise. There was no way I was in labor already. There was still so much to do and more importantly, she was still breech. I needed more time... And so I refused to let myself or anyone else think I was in labor for longer than I should have.
I remember sitting at work wondering to myself if anyone could tell how uncomfortable I was. I remember the feeling of dread when I finally called the nurse and how uninterested she seemed in my contractions until I told her that my babe was breech. I remember praying for the doc to call me back quicker and praying even harder that the contractions stopped before he called. And worst of all, the tears that came when I called Adam to come get me to go to the hospital.
Don't get me wrong. I was ecstatic at the thought that I might meet my baby soon. I couldn't wait to see her sweet face. I was dying to know if she had hair. I wanted to snuggle her close and inhale that scent that only comes from a fresh new life. I relished in the thought of Scarlett seeing her sister for the first time.
But I was scared. In fact, terrified is probably a better word.
I was at the hospital the day before for an external version. It was unsuccessful. As many times as she had turned down and back again, she wouldn't budge an inch when the doc pushed. I left the hospital that day and went right back to trying all the little tricks that worked before. None of them worked, as I could still feel her head in my ribs. I wasn't overly worried yet, as I had 2 weeks before my due date. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Somewhere between my call to the doctor, and the time I got hooked up to the monitors (just over an hour), my contractions went from 8-10 minutes apart to 2-4 minutes apart.
I had the sweetest nurse I could have asked for. She was so wonderful and patient with me. She talked through my concerns with me and understood when I needed time to process the things they were telling me. I am so thankful for that. There were plenty of nurses there who were far from kind or understanding of my situation.
She called the doctor after monitoring me for a half hour (contractions 2-3 minutes apart and dilated 3 cm) and getting and ultrasound to confirm breech position. I could hear the conversation...or her side of the conversation. I imagined what he was saying, based on her responses. The last thing I remember hearing from their conversation was "c-section? OK." and I couldn't hold back the tears.
Adam held back his excitement (he'd been saying for a week how ready he was for babe to be here already). He knew it was a hard thing for me to come to. We had several conversations over the previous few weeks about c-section and the lengths I would go to in order to avoid one. So instead of grinning ear to ear, like I'm sure would've been his first instinct, he held me close and let me wallow in that sorrow until the nurse came back in a few minutes later.
She confirmed what I had heard. The doc wants to do a c-section, but he'd be in to talk with me when he arrived. Then she didn't leave my side until the doc came and left. She answered every question I could think to ask (some of it, I find out now, was more comforting answers than real ones...like the size of my incision...).
When the doc came in to talk, he explained the situation to me several times. Each time he would tell me the reasons a c-section was the best possible outcome right now, he would wait for me to agree. After a minute of silence, he started the speech again, using different words and tones. I understood completely what he was saying, but couldn't make myself give him the OK. After a quite a few minutes of talking in circles, I mustered up "alright".
Then came the whirlwind.
Over the next hour, I was prepped for the c-section. There wasn't a time in that hour that there was less than 3 nurses around me. It was so hectic. One wanted my arm for the IV, one wanted to help me understand the consent forms, another was getting medications ready for me...I felt like I barely had a moment to catch my breath. I don't think I really got a chance to let it sink in.
I did manage to get some excitement going sometime during that hour. I made calls to the people I promised and announced that our babe would be arriving. Wow. She was really coming!! As scary as the impending surgery part was, I was going to meet the little girl who I had been growing for so many months.
Walking into the surgery room was really overwhelming. It was kind of a process for me, where I had to pause every few steps or around every corner to let it soak in for a moment. For me, surgery has always been scary. No matter what it was for or how simple it was or how quickly I was suppose to recover. Just the idea of induced sleep and people working inside my body makes me tense. This time, not only are the working on me, but my unborn daughter was involved too. I think that made the stakes a lot higher in my mind and the surgery a lot scarier.
I was given the spinal while Adam watched from outside the door. I'm not good with needles... thank goodness I didn't see what they used or how it was done. It was a weird sensation though. I expected to be completely numb from the chest down, but I could feel the doctor touching me. It wasn't painful at all, just weird. It was like every time I felt a touch, I expected pain. It was kind of anxiety inducing. Time went really quickly though, and before I realized it, Olivia made her way into the world.
It seemed to take a while to get her cleaned up and over to see me, but once she was near me, nothing else mattered. I don't remember feeling the doctor anymore, I didn't hear the anesthesiologist anymore and my anxiety fell away. I'm so thankful the doctor allowed her to stay in the room with me. That was one thing I was really adamant about. I'd always heard they took the baby to another room while they closed up the incision and I couldn't bear the thought.
Recovery has been harder than I expected. There's no way to know, really, unless you've been through it I guess. It's just hard to feel that pain all the time. It's hard for me to not pick up Scarlett and hard for her to understand why I can't. I feel like this transition to having a new sister has been harder because of that. I suppose there is no way to really know though.
I know I mentioned my incision earlier...if you're wondering, the nurse said it'd be about 3 inches (the doc did too)...it's more like 5. It seems to be healing really well though, and I doubt it will leave much of a scar. Not that it is visible to anyone anyway...
Gosh, this is a lot longer than I thought it'd be. And a lot more depressing. I went back and read it a couple times. I want it to be so much happier, but right now, this is my reality. This is my truth. I think as I come to terms with how it all happened, it will be happier, but right now it is what it is. This is how I feel right this moment.
I struggle a lot right now with the complete disconnect I have with the birth. I don't feel like I was a part of it. I think once I can connect with it, come to terms with the fact that it didn't go like I planned and transition into being a mommy of two, I will feel a lot better and this story will be a lot shorter and sound a lot happier.
In the end, I have an incredible baby. Miss Olivia Johanna was born at 4:17pm on April 8th. She seems like such a peanut compared to her sister. She was just 7lbs 13 oz and 20.5 inches...Scarlett was a whole pound and a whole inch bigger. She is just a sweet little baby though. I rarely hear fusses from her and if she cries, it's because you are changing her clothes or diaper. I remember Scarlett doing the same thing for a few weeks. She is a champion sleeper, too. I've been getting good sleep every night...she has given herself a schedule of sleeps and eats at night. It's amazing. My little Liv has the sweetest smiles and the warmest cuddles...and she has that fantastic baby smell. I don't think there is anything better than that smell. Not only that, but her sister adores her. I can't wait to watch them grow up together. Scarlett constantly talks about her sister and wants to hold and kiss her and tell her "I yove yooo..mo mo more!"
I suppose it doesn't really matter how she arrived. It's in the past...what matters right now is her and the rest of my family. We are all happy, we are all healthy and we are closer because of the things we've been through together.
Yes, she was 12 days early. Not very early by most standards, but my first daughter stayed snuggled in there until a week after her due date. I think I expected the same for this one.
I was caught by complete surprise. There was no way I was in labor already. There was still so much to do and more importantly, she was still breech. I needed more time... And so I refused to let myself or anyone else think I was in labor for longer than I should have.
I remember sitting at work wondering to myself if anyone could tell how uncomfortable I was. I remember the feeling of dread when I finally called the nurse and how uninterested she seemed in my contractions until I told her that my babe was breech. I remember praying for the doc to call me back quicker and praying even harder that the contractions stopped before he called. And worst of all, the tears that came when I called Adam to come get me to go to the hospital.
Don't get me wrong. I was ecstatic at the thought that I might meet my baby soon. I couldn't wait to see her sweet face. I was dying to know if she had hair. I wanted to snuggle her close and inhale that scent that only comes from a fresh new life. I relished in the thought of Scarlett seeing her sister for the first time.
But I was scared. In fact, terrified is probably a better word.
I was at the hospital the day before for an external version. It was unsuccessful. As many times as she had turned down and back again, she wouldn't budge an inch when the doc pushed. I left the hospital that day and went right back to trying all the little tricks that worked before. None of them worked, as I could still feel her head in my ribs. I wasn't overly worried yet, as I had 2 weeks before my due date. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Somewhere between my call to the doctor, and the time I got hooked up to the monitors (just over an hour), my contractions went from 8-10 minutes apart to 2-4 minutes apart.
I had the sweetest nurse I could have asked for. She was so wonderful and patient with me. She talked through my concerns with me and understood when I needed time to process the things they were telling me. I am so thankful for that. There were plenty of nurses there who were far from kind or understanding of my situation.
She called the doctor after monitoring me for a half hour (contractions 2-3 minutes apart and dilated 3 cm) and getting and ultrasound to confirm breech position. I could hear the conversation...or her side of the conversation. I imagined what he was saying, based on her responses. The last thing I remember hearing from their conversation was "c-section? OK." and I couldn't hold back the tears.
Adam held back his excitement (he'd been saying for a week how ready he was for babe to be here already). He knew it was a hard thing for me to come to. We had several conversations over the previous few weeks about c-section and the lengths I would go to in order to avoid one. So instead of grinning ear to ear, like I'm sure would've been his first instinct, he held me close and let me wallow in that sorrow until the nurse came back in a few minutes later.
She confirmed what I had heard. The doc wants to do a c-section, but he'd be in to talk with me when he arrived. Then she didn't leave my side until the doc came and left. She answered every question I could think to ask (some of it, I find out now, was more comforting answers than real ones...like the size of my incision...).
When the doc came in to talk, he explained the situation to me several times. Each time he would tell me the reasons a c-section was the best possible outcome right now, he would wait for me to agree. After a minute of silence, he started the speech again, using different words and tones. I understood completely what he was saying, but couldn't make myself give him the OK. After a quite a few minutes of talking in circles, I mustered up "alright".
Then came the whirlwind.
Over the next hour, I was prepped for the c-section. There wasn't a time in that hour that there was less than 3 nurses around me. It was so hectic. One wanted my arm for the IV, one wanted to help me understand the consent forms, another was getting medications ready for me...I felt like I barely had a moment to catch my breath. I don't think I really got a chance to let it sink in.
I did manage to get some excitement going sometime during that hour. I made calls to the people I promised and announced that our babe would be arriving. Wow. She was really coming!! As scary as the impending surgery part was, I was going to meet the little girl who I had been growing for so many months.
Walking into the surgery room was really overwhelming. It was kind of a process for me, where I had to pause every few steps or around every corner to let it soak in for a moment. For me, surgery has always been scary. No matter what it was for or how simple it was or how quickly I was suppose to recover. Just the idea of induced sleep and people working inside my body makes me tense. This time, not only are the working on me, but my unborn daughter was involved too. I think that made the stakes a lot higher in my mind and the surgery a lot scarier.
I was given the spinal while Adam watched from outside the door. I'm not good with needles... thank goodness I didn't see what they used or how it was done. It was a weird sensation though. I expected to be completely numb from the chest down, but I could feel the doctor touching me. It wasn't painful at all, just weird. It was like every time I felt a touch, I expected pain. It was kind of anxiety inducing. Time went really quickly though, and before I realized it, Olivia made her way into the world.
It seemed to take a while to get her cleaned up and over to see me, but once she was near me, nothing else mattered. I don't remember feeling the doctor anymore, I didn't hear the anesthesiologist anymore and my anxiety fell away. I'm so thankful the doctor allowed her to stay in the room with me. That was one thing I was really adamant about. I'd always heard they took the baby to another room while they closed up the incision and I couldn't bear the thought.
Recovery has been harder than I expected. There's no way to know, really, unless you've been through it I guess. It's just hard to feel that pain all the time. It's hard for me to not pick up Scarlett and hard for her to understand why I can't. I feel like this transition to having a new sister has been harder because of that. I suppose there is no way to really know though.
I know I mentioned my incision earlier...if you're wondering, the nurse said it'd be about 3 inches (the doc did too)...it's more like 5. It seems to be healing really well though, and I doubt it will leave much of a scar. Not that it is visible to anyone anyway...
Gosh, this is a lot longer than I thought it'd be. And a lot more depressing. I went back and read it a couple times. I want it to be so much happier, but right now, this is my reality. This is my truth. I think as I come to terms with how it all happened, it will be happier, but right now it is what it is. This is how I feel right this moment.
I struggle a lot right now with the complete disconnect I have with the birth. I don't feel like I was a part of it. I think once I can connect with it, come to terms with the fact that it didn't go like I planned and transition into being a mommy of two, I will feel a lot better and this story will be a lot shorter and sound a lot happier.
In the end, I have an incredible baby. Miss Olivia Johanna was born at 4:17pm on April 8th. She seems like such a peanut compared to her sister. She was just 7lbs 13 oz and 20.5 inches...Scarlett was a whole pound and a whole inch bigger. She is just a sweet little baby though. I rarely hear fusses from her and if she cries, it's because you are changing her clothes or diaper. I remember Scarlett doing the same thing for a few weeks. She is a champion sleeper, too. I've been getting good sleep every night...she has given herself a schedule of sleeps and eats at night. It's amazing. My little Liv has the sweetest smiles and the warmest cuddles...and she has that fantastic baby smell. I don't think there is anything better than that smell. Not only that, but her sister adores her. I can't wait to watch them grow up together. Scarlett constantly talks about her sister and wants to hold and kiss her and tell her "I yove yooo..mo mo more!"
I suppose it doesn't really matter how she arrived. It's in the past...what matters right now is her and the rest of my family. We are all happy, we are all healthy and we are closer because of the things we've been through together.
Your Body is a Wonderland
Posted in baby, Husband, insecurities, loss, love, miscarriage, pregnancy, Thankful on by
Your body is a wonderland
-John Mayer
It's funny to me how a few years, some great friends and life lessons can change your perspective on things... not to mention a sweet whisper from an amazing hubby...
When I was pregnant with Scarlett, I remember being so self-conscious about my changing body. I shied away from others touching my belly, I checked the mirror every day for stretch marks, spent loads of money on creams and oils that never worked, and hid myself under baggy maternity clothes and jackets. I wasn't ashamed of being pregnant, I just couldn't get myself to embrace my body. I think some of it was because I had just spent a year and a half losing weight and my husband wasn't as affectionate as he had been before.
So, here I am nearly 3 year later, loving my belly. Want to see it?
Ok...so what changed?
First (and I think most importantly) my darling husband caught me looking at myself in the mirror (NO, I wasn't looking for stretch marks...I have so many, what would one more be?!). He came up behind me, leaned in close and whispered 'you look so sexy'. My response? LAUGHTER! He said 'Seriously... you look gorgeous.' It sparked a conversation about his lack of affection. I found out that he felt guilty about all the problems I had at the beginning of my pregnancy with Scarlett and it carried over. This time it was amplified because of the loss we had last year. It's nice to know that I'm not a total cow in my husband's eyes and definitely boosted my confidence about my big, beautiful body ;)
Speaking of, our loss had a huge impact on me...naturally, right? I think I may have taken it all a bit for granted with Scarlett. I never really stopped to think of the wonder and miracle that babies are. I never fully grasped how incredible my body is to be able to give life. This time, I get it. I may gain 100 lbs or 5 lbs, but each pound has a purpose. My body is changing and growing to nourish the tiny one inside me. I am her home, her whole life and I will give anything to keep her and help her.
I also have some pretty amazing friends. They are always there to remind me of those things I forget. They are always lifting me up when I'm down. Most importantly, they are always supportive. I'm really lucky to have them. On days when I feel blue, I can count on them to remind me of my blessings. Even on good days, I find lessons in thier words, wisdom in thier actions and love in thier hearts that doesn't compare. They each inspire me in thier own ways to be a better woman, a better wife and a better mother.
Now, I'm at pregnancy number three and FINALLY embracing the experience. I'm not saying I don't complain, because I sure do sometimes, but I really try to cherish every moment, every movement of this little one and every ache and pain. Because really, it *is* a miracle. New life is incredible and being able to experience it is even more amazing.
And besides, my hubby thinks I'm sexy...
-John Mayer
It's funny to me how a few years, some great friends and life lessons can change your perspective on things... not to mention a sweet whisper from an amazing hubby...
When I was pregnant with Scarlett, I remember being so self-conscious about my changing body. I shied away from others touching my belly, I checked the mirror every day for stretch marks, spent loads of money on creams and oils that never worked, and hid myself under baggy maternity clothes and jackets. I wasn't ashamed of being pregnant, I just couldn't get myself to embrace my body. I think some of it was because I had just spent a year and a half losing weight and my husband wasn't as affectionate as he had been before.
So, here I am nearly 3 year later, loving my belly. Want to see it?
Ok...so what changed?
First (and I think most importantly) my darling husband caught me looking at myself in the mirror (NO, I wasn't looking for stretch marks...I have so many, what would one more be?!). He came up behind me, leaned in close and whispered 'you look so sexy'. My response? LAUGHTER! He said 'Seriously... you look gorgeous.' It sparked a conversation about his lack of affection. I found out that he felt guilty about all the problems I had at the beginning of my pregnancy with Scarlett and it carried over. This time it was amplified because of the loss we had last year. It's nice to know that I'm not a total cow in my husband's eyes and definitely boosted my confidence about my big, beautiful body ;)
Speaking of, our loss had a huge impact on me...naturally, right? I think I may have taken it all a bit for granted with Scarlett. I never really stopped to think of the wonder and miracle that babies are. I never fully grasped how incredible my body is to be able to give life. This time, I get it. I may gain 100 lbs or 5 lbs, but each pound has a purpose. My body is changing and growing to nourish the tiny one inside me. I am her home, her whole life and I will give anything to keep her and help her.
I also have some pretty amazing friends. They are always there to remind me of those things I forget. They are always lifting me up when I'm down. Most importantly, they are always supportive. I'm really lucky to have them. On days when I feel blue, I can count on them to remind me of my blessings. Even on good days, I find lessons in thier words, wisdom in thier actions and love in thier hearts that doesn't compare. They each inspire me in thier own ways to be a better woman, a better wife and a better mother.
Now, I'm at pregnancy number three and FINALLY embracing the experience. I'm not saying I don't complain, because I sure do sometimes, but I really try to cherish every moment, every movement of this little one and every ache and pain. Because really, it *is* a miracle. New life is incredible and being able to experience it is even more amazing.
And besides, my hubby thinks I'm sexy...
Helpless When She Smiles
Posted in baby, Backstreet Boys, family, little girls, lyrics, pregnancy, sisters on by
She'll dance away just like a child,
She drives me crazy, drives me wild,
But I'm helpless when she smiles.
-Backstreet Boys, Helpless When She Smiles
I think the takeover has become official. I'm no longer in control at my house, it's now under the rule of a 34 inch, 24 lb toddler who thinks she knows everything.
Is it bad that I find her completely hilarious?! I mean, as long as there isn't a fit, or screaming/crying involved, I think she is just funny.
Example 1: Saturday she talked back to her dad... I had to hide my face in a blanket so she wouldn't see me laughing until I cried! There was a dog food commercial on with an English Bulldog. Adam got excited (his favorite kind of dog) and showed Scarlett the puppy. Moments later, the screen flashed to 3 poodles (dogs that Adam can't stand, for whatever reason) and Scarlett got *really* excited. She was bouncing up and down saying 'puppen' over and over again. Adam told her no way, no poodles and that little girl wagged her finger at him and mumbled some kind of response back to him. This went back and forth between them for a few minutes, until Adam finally said "no poodles" and Scarlett said "fine!". Funny now? Totally! In a few years? Definitely not. I feel like I should be doing things to correct this, but it's kind of hard when I can't even catch my breath between the belly shaking laughs.
Example 2: 'NO' was her word of the day yesterday. I hate that it's so cute when she says it. She purses her lips out really far with the oooo sound of the word and continues about her business as if nothing happened. Ready for a nap? Nooooo. Want to have dinner? Nooooo. Let's go bye-bye... Nooooo. It's bath time! Nooooo. And my personal favorite... Do you need to go potty? Nooooo. Which is quickly followed by her running to the bathroom. Sometimes I think she just likes the word NO.
Right here is where I started considering putting a disclaimer up at the top of this post: I'm not really as bad of a mom as this makes me sound! LOL!!!!
Example 3: After her bath last night, she was really really tired. She had decided not to nap during the day (despite my best efforts) and was really hitting the end of her rope. Boy, let me tell you, she is CRAZY when she is that tired. Not the bad kind, the fall over laughing because she is so silly kind. I definitely get the bad mommy award for last night... I ended up letting her stay up another hour and half after her bath. I was having far too much fun playing with her, watching her laugh at herself and just enjoying the wonderful time together. It's not often that I have these great times where she doesn't act like the 'terrible twos' are taking over my little angel. I wanted to soak up every second of it. And when she started winding down, I took her to bed and she didn't make a peep. It was a great evening. A wonderful reminder that while she still has those horrid fits, my funny little girl is still in there. :)
*Sigh*
I think I'm becoming soft. I find myself starting to worry that Scarlett won't adjust to her new sister as easily as I'd like to imagine. I'm scared she's going to have big issues and I feel really bad. I think I'm trying to make things as easy as possible between her and I in this next few months that we have as *just* her and I. Probably not the best idea, but I suppose I'll deal with the consequences as they come. Soon she'll have to share me.
She drives me crazy, drives me wild,
But I'm helpless when she smiles.
-Backstreet Boys, Helpless When She Smiles
I think the takeover has become official. I'm no longer in control at my house, it's now under the rule of a 34 inch, 24 lb toddler who thinks she knows everything.
Is it bad that I find her completely hilarious?! I mean, as long as there isn't a fit, or screaming/crying involved, I think she is just funny.
Example 1: Saturday she talked back to her dad... I had to hide my face in a blanket so she wouldn't see me laughing until I cried! There was a dog food commercial on with an English Bulldog. Adam got excited (his favorite kind of dog) and showed Scarlett the puppy. Moments later, the screen flashed to 3 poodles (dogs that Adam can't stand, for whatever reason) and Scarlett got *really* excited. She was bouncing up and down saying 'puppen' over and over again. Adam told her no way, no poodles and that little girl wagged her finger at him and mumbled some kind of response back to him. This went back and forth between them for a few minutes, until Adam finally said "no poodles" and Scarlett said "fine!". Funny now? Totally! In a few years? Definitely not. I feel like I should be doing things to correct this, but it's kind of hard when I can't even catch my breath between the belly shaking laughs.
Example 2: 'NO' was her word of the day yesterday. I hate that it's so cute when she says it. She purses her lips out really far with the oooo sound of the word and continues about her business as if nothing happened. Ready for a nap? Nooooo. Want to have dinner? Nooooo. Let's go bye-bye... Nooooo. It's bath time! Nooooo. And my personal favorite... Do you need to go potty? Nooooo. Which is quickly followed by her running to the bathroom. Sometimes I think she just likes the word NO.
Right here is where I started considering putting a disclaimer up at the top of this post: I'm not really as bad of a mom as this makes me sound! LOL!!!!
Example 3: After her bath last night, she was really really tired. She had decided not to nap during the day (despite my best efforts) and was really hitting the end of her rope. Boy, let me tell you, she is CRAZY when she is that tired. Not the bad kind, the fall over laughing because she is so silly kind. I definitely get the bad mommy award for last night... I ended up letting her stay up another hour and half after her bath. I was having far too much fun playing with her, watching her laugh at herself and just enjoying the wonderful time together. It's not often that I have these great times where she doesn't act like the 'terrible twos' are taking over my little angel. I wanted to soak up every second of it. And when she started winding down, I took her to bed and she didn't make a peep. It was a great evening. A wonderful reminder that while she still has those horrid fits, my funny little girl is still in there. :)
*Sigh*
I think I'm becoming soft. I find myself starting to worry that Scarlett won't adjust to her new sister as easily as I'd like to imagine. I'm scared she's going to have big issues and I feel really bad. I think I'm trying to make things as easy as possible between her and I in this next few months that we have as *just* her and I. Probably not the best idea, but I suppose I'll deal with the consequences as they come. Soon she'll have to share me.
She
Posted in baby, Elvis Costello, little girls, lyrics, pregnancy, sisters on by
I know it's been a long while since I updated, but I'm trying to get back on top of my life and the things I want/need to be doing. I feel like I'm finally getting over the morning sickness hump. It's getting less and less often, so I'm sure I'm nearly done with it.
I had my 'big' ultrasound last week. Everything looked good, baby is healthy and despite that news I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. This was my 3rd ultrasound and I still didn't get a picture of my babe to take home. It's probably a silly thing to be upset about that, but keep in mind, I'm a little hormonal (and by a little, I mean WATCH OUT, I can't control myself at all). The doc asked me how everything went and I took the opportunity to express my disappointment. I was surprised at how his expression changed... He's such a kind doctor and so understanding. He put the wand on my tummy and the first thing that popped up on screen was a little bum. He looked at it from several angles before deciding that it was definitely a girl. I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face. I couldn't help but imagine my sweet little Scarlett with a tiny sister and how they would grow together and learn so much from each other. I'm bursting with excitment at the coming months and a sweet pair of sisters. So my song today is dedicated to my girls...
She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and rainy years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She
-Elvis Costello, She
I had my 'big' ultrasound last week. Everything looked good, baby is healthy and despite that news I couldn't help but be a little disappointed. This was my 3rd ultrasound and I still didn't get a picture of my babe to take home. It's probably a silly thing to be upset about that, but keep in mind, I'm a little hormonal (and by a little, I mean WATCH OUT, I can't control myself at all). The doc asked me how everything went and I took the opportunity to express my disappointment. I was surprised at how his expression changed... He's such a kind doctor and so understanding. He put the wand on my tummy and the first thing that popped up on screen was a little bum. He looked at it from several angles before deciding that it was definitely a girl. I couldn't help the huge smile that spread across my face. I couldn't help but imagine my sweet little Scarlett with a tiny sister and how they would grow together and learn so much from each other. I'm bursting with excitment at the coming months and a sweet pair of sisters. So my song today is dedicated to my girls...
She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and rainy years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She
-Elvis Costello, She
What You Are
Posted in baby, Dave Matthews Band, lyrics on by
What you are
Is a missing piece
What you are
Is a puzzle to me
-Dave Matthews Band- What You Are
We have a date! Our ultrasound has been scheduled and in a mere 3 weeks, we will be able to take a peek at this little person I'm feeling move around. Not only that, but we will possibly get an answer to that nagging little question...what gender is it? I have to laugh because it seems that everyone else wants to know more than I do. I can honestly say I am happy to just have a healthy baby. Every time I think I know what it is anyway, I change my mind. I was sure this babe was a girl for the longest time, but there are things that make me think boy quite often, too. Hence the lyrics by one of my fave artists, Dave Matthews. It's a puzzle to me. I kind of like it like that.
Is a missing piece
What you are
Is a puzzle to me
-Dave Matthews Band- What You Are
We have a date! Our ultrasound has been scheduled and in a mere 3 weeks, we will be able to take a peek at this little person I'm feeling move around. Not only that, but we will possibly get an answer to that nagging little question...what gender is it? I have to laugh because it seems that everyone else wants to know more than I do. I can honestly say I am happy to just have a healthy baby. Every time I think I know what it is anyway, I change my mind. I was sure this babe was a girl for the longest time, but there are things that make me think boy quite often, too. Hence the lyrics by one of my fave artists, Dave Matthews. It's a puzzle to me. I kind of like it like that.
Baby, Baby
Posted in Amy Grant, baby, From Mommy, kicks, lyrics on by
Dear little babe,
I'm starting to feel the little flutters... usually at night after your dad comes home from work. I like to think you're acknowledging that he's here, with us. I can't wait until they become stronger and more regular. I can't wait until he gets to feel them. I love seeing your connection grow once he has the assurance that I have had all along that there really is a little one growing in there. There's a little debate about whether to find out if you're a boy or girl, but it really doesn't matter. We love you and always will.
With hugs and kisses,
Mommy
p.s. If you kick harder during your favorite lullaby, I'll remember to sing that one more often.
Baby, Baby by Amy Grant
Baby, baby
I'm taken by the notion
To love you with the sweetest of devotion
Baby, baby
My love for you will flow from
The bluest skies to the deepest ocean
I'm starting to feel the little flutters... usually at night after your dad comes home from work. I like to think you're acknowledging that he's here, with us. I can't wait until they become stronger and more regular. I can't wait until he gets to feel them. I love seeing your connection grow once he has the assurance that I have had all along that there really is a little one growing in there. There's a little debate about whether to find out if you're a boy or girl, but it really doesn't matter. We love you and always will.
With hugs and kisses,
Mommy
p.s. If you kick harder during your favorite lullaby, I'll remember to sing that one more often.
Baby, Baby by Amy Grant
Baby, baby
I'm taken by the notion
To love you with the sweetest of devotion
Baby, baby
My love for you will flow from
The bluest skies to the deepest ocean
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