My Oh My

Times have changed and so have I
I once was young and starry-eyed
- The Wreckers

I was talking with my mom the other day, and was suprised by one of her questions...

"So, why do you feed Liv on demand and not on a schedule like you did with Scarlett?"

The funny thing about that question is that Liv is technically on the same scheudle that Scarlett was, but it was her own doing, not mine.

But in all honesty, I didn't know how to answer her question. I immediately felt defensive, like she was questioning my parenting. In fact, I'm sure she was because it was different than how she did it and infinitely different than how her mother did it. See, that's the funny thing about first children... I feel like it took me so long to find my footing after having Scarlett that I took other people's advice like it was gold and not just an opinion. I tried so hard to 'look' like a good mom in other people's eyes, because I didn't want them to see how difficult the transition was for me. I loved and hoped for people to tell me how I was "such a natural mother" and I like to think a little bit of that is true. There are definitely nurturing, maternal things that came quickly, but I didn't trust myself or my instincts. I was so scared of doing something wrong.

I'm sure of myself now. I know I'm a good mom. I don't need the constant reassurance and I don't need to know how everyone else used to do it or would if they had another baby. Of course, I welcome opinions and advice, but I know that's all it is...opinions and advice. Mother knows best, right? I'm the mother now :) I love that feeling. I love that I know what is right for my daughters and my family. It's so empowering. I'm sure I'll still make plenty of mistakes, but that's the beauty of it.