Stay or Leave

1 am rolled around and he was fighting his sleep. Fighting hard, for me.

Part of it is because I'm such a night owl. I could easily stay up until 3 am before passing out. I try and try to sleep earlier (it's not easy to get out of bed for work when I stay up so late) but I just end up staring at the ceiling listening to my hubby mumble and snore in his sleep.

The other part is that it was our last night home together and I didn't want it to end. His vacation is over. It seemed too short, but I'm trying hard to be thankful for the time we did have. I made him stay up until he just physically couldn't do it anymore. I made him talk to me and rub my back and even (gasp) cuddle! Haha! I have to say it like that because I can't cuddle when I go to sleep. I need some space...breathing room, especially with my ever expanding belly.

Sounds silly to even make a big deal of...

He comes home every night. I should be grateful for that. Some days it just seems so hard. Today is one of them. I'll see him at 11 pm and he'll be ready for bed by midnight. I guess that's ok. I should appreciate more that I have that hour with him... I'm just selfish. I want more. I want him all to myself, all the time. Silly me.

p.s. Sorry, I just couldn't pick one part of the song... I just love the whole thing.

May be different but remember
Winters warm there you and I
Kissing whiskey by the fire
With the snow outside
And when the summer comes...
The river swims at midnight shiver cold
Touch the bottom, you and I
With muddy toes

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you should
It was good as good, goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you did

Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us
It was good good love
You used to laugh under the covers
Maybe not so often now
The way I used to laugh with you
Was loud and hard

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
but you did

so what to do
with the rest of the days afternoon
Hey, isn’t it strange how we change everything we did
Did I do all that I should?
or that I coulda done

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
what day is this?
besides the day you left me
what day is this?
besides the day you went
So what to do with the rest of the days afternoon
Hey, isn’t it strange how we change everything we did
Did I do all that I could?

Remember we used to dance
And everyone wanted to be you and me
I want to be too
what day is this?
besides the day you left me
what day is this?
-Dave Matthews Band, Stay or Leave