Scarlett's story

I can't recall if I've written it before...seems to me I haven't. Either way, it's been on my mind a lot lately.
Her whole pregnancy was a roller coaster ride, I suppose I shouldn't have expected any different for the labor and delivery...
I had preterm labor on two different occasions. After being told the whole time that she would likely be very premature, due to my 'special' uterus, I was very surprised to be entering my 40th week of pregnancy. Still, I was content.
I had a doc appointment at 10 am, so I went to work to tie up some loose ends...just in case...
At the appointment, the doc was really concerned about my blood pressure. I can't recall what the numbers were, but it was enough for the doc to send me for monitoring at the hospital. It was on the way there that the contractions started.
Got to the hospital at 11 am and I was 4 cm dilated. 2 more hours and I made it to 5. The doc, still concerned about my blood pressure, wanted to give me meds to speed along the labor. I declined meds, but allowed her to break my water...big mistake. I had no clue how much the pain would intensify after that.
At 5 pm, I finally made it to 7 cm. I used the labor ball to help with pain and sat there comfortably for a couple more hours. It wasn't until I decided to try a warm bath that I started to feel a lot of pressure. I got excited thinking I was near the end...nope...no progress. At 9 pm, I was still at 7 and I started bawling.
I lost all confidence in myself. I panicked because I felt like there was no way I could go another minute with that pain and no progress.
I got an epidural.
It was never my plan and I feel guilty about it now, but in that moment, it was probably the right decision. At 10 pm, I was resting comfortably, waiting for my labor to progress.
At 6 am, the nurse came to check me and I was at 'a stretchy 9 cm'. She suggested I push to see if we could get to a 10... big mistake #2... but I started pushing just after 6. It was a good 4 hours of pushing without progress and I was SO tired. By the time she actually started to come out, I wasn't sure I could finish pushing. The doctor tried to be encouraging, telling me to push so I could see all the hair she has (she was born nearly bald...peach fuzz is all she had...such a lie) and telling me I was doing a great job.
It wasn't until the last few pushes where things started to get crazy.
I finally pushed her head out and the doc saw the cord around her neck twice. It was never indicated on the fetal monitor. The doc cut the cord and told me to push harder because she needed to be out immediately. Then the flood of docs and nurses came in the room. I tried pushing, but she wasn't budging.
Shoulder Dystocia.
My sweet little babe was stuck, without the cord giving her oxygen.
Panic filled the room. And it all became a blur to me.
I don't even know how long it took, but the doc eventually wiggled her out.
Scarlett was born at 10:53 am.
She was blue and limp and that was all I got to see. She was rushed to the opposite side of the room where there were docs and nurses waiting to work on her.
The only thing I remember is asking repeatedly 'why isn't she crying?' and no one giving me an answer. Minutes passed...seemed like longer. When she finally took her first breath and started wailing, I was at peace.
For the doc, panic continued.
My placenta was stuck. Apparently the whole time I was concerned about my baby, she was trying to help me deliver the placenta. I was bleeding a lot. So much so that she had to take immediate action. I will never ever forget the look on my doctor's face or her tone of voice when she said
"I'm so sorry to have to do this, but I have to stop this bleeding"
The only time I screamed or really made more than a moan during my whole labor (all 24 hours of it) was when she tore my placenta away from my uterus. On the scale of pain I've had in my life, here's how it goes... Kidney stones, this placenta thing, then labor/birth.
I don't remember much after that. I'm told I went pale and started to go in and out of consciousness. They let my waiting family in the room to see the baby and then asked everyone to leave. At some point, I remember a nurse waking me to breastfeed. Honestly though, until about 5 pm that night, I was completely out of it. I ended up needing 2 blood transfusions.
In a word, the day was traumatic.
Between the troubles with the baby (her first apgar was 3) and the troubles I had, I never in my life imagined that kind of birth. Maybe that is why I am longing so badly for a natural, uneventful, "normal" birth. I don't remember much of Scarlett's first day, let along her first few minutes alive. I watched this show called One Born Every Minute and in one of the episodes, there was a birth that was just like mine. I cried. It was incredible to see it from an outside perspective. SO terrifying. (http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/one-born-every-minute/episodes/season-1/episode-2)
We both recovered quickly though. I know things could've easily been different. I'm thankful for my spunky little 3 yr old, even if we did have a rough start. LOL!