First Love

So little to say
So much time
Despite my empty mouth
The words are in my mind
-Adele, First Love

I bite my tongue...a lot. I hate to make waves, make people feel uncomfortable or awkward, or worse, causing hurt feelings. The truth of the matter is that it often hurts me to keep my mouth shut. I am the one who ends up suffering because I didn't stand up for myself, or clarify my stance or feelings.

In the recent months, I've found myself wanting to speak up more...and today, I find it incredibly hard to keep myself from making a bad situation worse by saying my peace on it. In my heart, I know it will only make things worse. Having a big blow up right now won't do anyone any good...on the other hand, I have so much I want to say. I guess I'm hoping by writing some of this out, I can let it go. A friend suggested I give it up to god... maybe this is my way of doing that... I'm not really sure. I just know that right now I need to be free of it. I don't need the stress, the anxiety or the heartache. So I will pull into my cocoon and start healing...but beware of the day that the final straw breaks the camel's back ;)